The Curriculum for Life is Struggle

My Advice for Parents, College Graduates, and Young Professionals

Unfortunately a paradox for success exists and is being taught daily by our parents and the education system. Next Generation parents have been so focused on being loving nurturers and providing a life that they didn’t have for their children that it is actually having an adverse effect on young adults. Similarly, teachers have been handcuffed into pushing students through and simplifying their curriculum to make sure “no child is left behind”.

Young adults have been scripted into thinking that simply showing up is enough to succeed because, after all, it has worked up until this point. But remember “what got us here won’t get us there.”

A quote by Mark Twain really speaks to the paradox of the education system and what is taking place in our counterproductive society today.

“Never let your schooling interfere with your education.” – Mark Twain.

I began thinking about this quote in regards to my own life and realized how profoundly true it is. Looking back at my educational career (specifically high school), I realized how very little I was taught about what it took to be successful in life. The real “education” came outside of my “schooling” through unique experiences, which often came directly as a result of struggle.

I was fortunate to play athletics and was battle-tested throughout as a result. I didn’t realize it at the time but these struggles are really the curriculum for life. They are what taught me perseverance and the value of hard work. The real-world will never just hand you something or reward you for showing up.

Stop Removing Roadblocks

Meanwhile, these are the same lessons that parents and educators (inadvertently) are taking from childrens’ lives today. By removing roadblocks young adults are actually being cheated out of the common skills that lead to success. Being able to bounce back when you get knocked down, being self-intrinsically motivated vs. motivated by outside factors, and being self-reliant. There shouldn't be a reward for every small victory but it instead should be expected. I recently heard that preschoolers now have graduation celebrations and call me old school but I find this to be over-the-top.

The real education comes once we are on our own and forced to either sink or swim. The job market is at an all-time low for young professionals (over 50% of people under the age of 26 are unemployed). The doom loop continues with the recent findings that 85% of this years 300 million college graduates have said they will be moving back in with their parents. No parent wants to see their son or daughter struggle, but unfortunately this is how we learn. So I beg you parents – do not let your child move back in with you.

Difficult times call for extreme measures. And while these may seem like extreme actions think about the big-picture. Competition can be healthy and will ultimately lead to abilities that young professionals most likely will not learn from the confinements of their parent's couch. Graduates need to be forced out of their comfort zone, because that is when change happens. Force them to do the heavy lifting they must not have been doing throughout their higher education and make them “figure it out” on their own and someday they will thank you.

Einstein's definition for insanity is the best I have heard of explaining this:

"Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

The biggest growths I ever experienced were when I decided to move away from my hometown on two separate occasions. When I was 18 I moved 12 hours away to pursue an education and a baseball career in Knoxville, Tenn. I knew exactly zero people there but learned more in that one year on my own than in the previous 17 combined. The second time I moved away from my hometown was to chase my dreams as a college graduate and quickly found out how brutal the real world could be despite having real world experience and a college degree. But I knew one thing – I had nothing to go back to so I just had to “figure it out.” 

And I’m sure the same will happen for those 250+ million graduates if you let them do the heavy lifting on their own. The curriculum for life is struggle and every ultra-successful person has graduated from it.