What Do You Say in a Moment Like This?

Bruce Lund, NEXTPERT

www.nextpert.net

Remembering Coach Matt “Sunny” Sunderlin

When I heard news that Matt “Sunny” Sunderlin was sick a few months ago I brushed it aside. “He’ll be fine” I thought to myself. It’s embarrassing to say, but I did not know the severity of the illness and just assumed it couldn’t be serious because, after all, it’s Sunny.

This was the same guy who was the glue behind the most dysfunctional team I had ever been apart of and as a three sport athlete in high school, a four-year letterer in college, and now having been a member of many “teams” in the real-world that is saying something.  

He helped lead the 2000 Reed City football team to school history as we became the first football team to make the state playoffs. During that magical season we faced many different roadblocks and I personally wanted to hang my cleats up several times, but Sunny was right there every step of the way to help me through it. As he did with so many others.

Late last night I received several text messages about the terrible news of Sunny's passing. So many different thoughts and emotions began to race through me as I searched for a deep breath.

The Leader

I began to reflect back on all the memories and the impact that Coach Sunny had on my life and quickly realized I would not be the person I am today without his leadership.

To me, leadership is simply seeing the good in somebody when it’s easy to see the bad. I think anybody that knew me growing up, particularly my last two years of high school, would agree there wasn’t much good to be seen. I was egotistical, selfish, and frankly pissed a lot of people off. Many would argue I didn’t even deserve to graduate.

But Sunny was one of a handful of people who took particular interest in me. Without his guidance and him pulling out the potential in me that many didn’t see, I would not be pursuing a Ph.D. in Human Performance and seeking to have the same impact on others’ lives that he had on mine. 

Somehow, he saw the good in me and for that we shared a special bond. During that senior season I also had Sunny for two classes and got a lot of “special” attention. But the real bond came out on the football field. Football is unlike any other sport in the bond created. For us 20+ players and coaches, we were built much more like a family than simply a football team. Blood, sweat, and tears are poured into an entire season that begins with offseason workouts, stretches through two-a-days, and all the way to running out onto the field for opening kickoff.  

Collectively, we grind it out every practice, but luckily that Friday night always comes and makes it all worth it. The best part about Sunny is that he could joke around with the best of them, which made the practices atleast tolerable. We certainly went back and forth with good-humored verbal attacks throughout the season and in the hallways of the school. We had some serious laughs throughout that year. Honestly, I went beyond the “coach-player” boundaries from time-to-time which got me into a lot of trouble.

A Time for Reflection

One story in particular comes to mind. During the last practice before that state playoff game against Oscoda Jeremy Schoenlein and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on Sunny. We always thought we had some great ideas, but this one turned out to be one of the worst.

I will not disclose the prank and those on the football field that day know exactly what happened. I immediately knew something went terribly array. Never before had I seen Sunny as infuriated at us than after that stunt when he yelled, “Run until you puke. No..no…no wait,  run until I puke!” So away we went, and for the next hour, in full pads, Jeremy and I ran.

But through it all, Sunny was the first person to pick us up after our team lost that playoff game the next day. No matter what, he was always there for you. He put his arm around me and said, “You’re like a son to me.” From that day on, I saw Sunny in a whole different light and I realized he was like a father to me and so many others.

After graduation he was one of the few that encouraged me to pursue my baseball dream and move out of state to play at Maryville College in Tennessee. Once again, he was there to lift me up as he did with so many other individuals.  

What Great Coaches Do 

Coaches make us have conversations we don’t want to have, do things we don’t want to do, but ultimately they make us better. This quote by author Michael Gerber sums up what Sunny did for me.

These are the emotional intelligences that coaches and athletics give us. They prepare us for the many struggles we will face in life and allow us the skills to “Fail Forward.” Sport is the great enabler of sharing a collective passion unlike any other experience.

Sunny would routinely follow up on my journey and offer advice. I always saw him when I visited during the holidays. We never skipped a beat with our back and forth banter, and he would reference me as the “toothpick bastard”. A nickname I got after I turned away from him one day during practice and accidentally elbowed him with my boney frame. That was exactly how our relationship worked because our personalities were so similar. We would hate each other one moment and the next we would laugh about it.

But time has a funny way of changing things and the last couple years after I moved back to Tennessee for school I really lost touch with him.

They say at the totality of our lives we will far more regret what we could have done, should have done, but didn’t do. Today, the day after hearing the news of Sunny passing away, I will forever regret not telling him what he meant to me as a coach, as a friend, and even as a father figure. 

Sunny had a way to make you feel like you were the only person in the room or on the field when he talked to you. I know there are thousands of others who were affected by Matt Sunderlin and that is a reflection of the man he was and will always be to those who were fortunate to know him.

“Service to others is the rent we pay to live on this earth” and Sunny paid enough service to live three, full lifetimes. All I can do is try to mirror the endearing personality Sunny had on those around him and live my life with this direct reflection. 

An Entire Community Mourns

Sunny, you will always be my coach.

Small towns breed values and relationships unlike any other experiences and today an entire community mourns the loss of a great man, friend, coach, husband, and father.

To Sunny’s wife, April, I know you were his rock and remained strong throughout this entire experience. Nobody has to tell you how great a man Sunny was.

To his three children Madison, Brady, and Deliah I express my deepest condolences. Just know that your father affected so many people in a positive way and truly changed lives. Madison, may you let him live through you everyday and make sure your brother and sister know how great of a father he was.

Thank You Sunny

We are so eager to grow up and become somebody that we often lose sight of the important relationships along the way. It’s unfortunate that it takes tragedy to take a step back to reflect on these relationships that shape who we are, what we do, and why we matter.

Today and for the rest of my life, I will rejoice the life of Matt Sunderlin. We should all cherish those people who come into our lives and make us believe we can become the person we never thought we could become. I ask that you reach out to those people today whether they are a coach, a friend, or a family member and let them know the impact they have before it is too late.

Rest in Peace Coach.